I'm sorry

To my fans and friends . . .

I have been absent from your eyes, minds and hearts for far too long now. It's been, well all I can say is that it's been a trying few weeks. I've been working REALLY hard, and it's taken time away from my ruminations on our lives, as ants marching along this freeway of mortality.

There is a reason for my dereliction of duty. The passing of a very important and magical musician, artist, athlete, and dear hero of mine has shattered the core of my being. It's been a wild, hazy winter in my life since one of my heroes fell into that good night. Of course, I speak of the tragic passing of Wayman Tisdale on May 15, 2009.

As a young lad aspiring to athletic success, I saw Wayman as a role model. Large, like myself, he seemed healthy and confident in his own skin, something I am always figuring out ( :-/ ). His music made me joyful, and his play on the ballcourts of the NBA whipped me into a frenzy. When he passed, my world seemed so finite - like nothing else slowed down except for my heartache. It was a rough patch for Tim.

However, I've rebounded; and would LOVE to let you all know I am here. Tim, for better or for worse.

Hugs and kisses,

Dreams and Wishes,

Tim

Lamentations from the Bad Luck Zone

Insomniacs internet-wide,

It is as if my heart is no longer the shape of two swans kissing, but of a question mark. My birthday lack of mirth has caused me to sink into an even deeper funk.

As all of you know, I take Facebook very seriously. I view wall postings as a sign of respect, admiration, friendship, and most of all, real, tangible love. However, I looked at my birthday postings, and realized that I only received 36 wall postings for my birthday. That's less than 10% of my FB friends (373 and counting)! What am I to make of this catastrophe? That less than 10% of my friends, nay, ACQUAINTANCES care for me the way I care for them?

All of this has thrown me for a loop. It makes me wonder if being 26 is just twice as worse as being 13. "13 going on 30" has a whole new meaning for me now. Like a lone raindrop struggling to get to the bottom of a window pane, a single tear resides on my rosy cheek. 26 is not . . . .

Cherish the Pain, Tim. It reminds you that you're alive.

Confused, sad, and wanting someone warm by my bedside (G),

Tim

PS I am SO cheesed about the Bachelor!!!!!!!