English, why do you confuse me so?

Today, my boss was unhappy with the quality of my grammar. I always fancied myself a natural James Joyce when it came to literary prose. 

But then I got to thinking, "Is it really my fault? Or is it the language's fault for being so complicated?" I think it's the latter. 

Some examples:

- The plural of foot is feet, but the plural of boot is boots.

- Your nose can run but your feet can smell.

- "Inaction" and "in action" are opposites.

Grrrr!!

Am I wrong to feel overwhelmed? I would say that I feel whelmed, but that's just not a word, now is it?

Hook 'em Horns (-2.5) against the Aggies,

Tim